Wednesday, January 21, 2009

not interested? ohhhh....let me count the ways...

hmmmm.....so i actually wrote the below posting late last night and decided to sit on it until morning... i was filled with brim and fire for about an hour last night as i pounded on my keyboard. now, i'm quite a bit more mellow about the whole thing and find myself wincing a bit. i am absolutely firm in my desire to not want any connection with this particular ex....but perhaps i should have been a bit more diplomatic. yikes. oh well.

yet, as i promised to be open dear hearts...i decided to go ahead and post when i wrote last night. i suppose it shows how horrible i can really be when i feel like i am being cornered.

if this is your first time reading this post, and would like some background info...please see my original post here.

so here i am. warts and all....

___________

Title: not interested? ohhhh....let me count the ways...

it is rather mind-boggling to know that one has to repeat oneself.

dear hearts, if you received this note from someone....would you continue to push for contact?

"[name of ex],

I received your Facebook request and would like to let you know directly that I prefer to decline the request as well as any requests for direct contact in the future.

While we both care for similar people, I do not have any intention for you and I to have any connections outside of knowing the same people.

Ideally, I would like to be polite at certain major events (i.e., when/if [deleted name]/[deleted name]/[deleted name] decides to get married etc.) or parties that we may be in attendance at the same time as this would benefit those that we both care about.

Yet, I am not interested in pursuing any direct connection with you. This perspective will not change in the future.

Thanks."
i think that is rather clear don't you? i think i was almost polite...but very clear. i think most people would say to themselves "hmmm, maybe i should just not contact the foodie hunter anymore." i figured the best strategy was to confront this head-on as i don't want there to be any ambiguity re: what i want. i also wanted to squash any potential hidden agendas about being more than just "facebook friends".

why o' why would you want to be friends with someone who is not interested in being friends with you? the analytical foodie hunter is having some issues computing this.

well, apparently some people think very differently than the foodie hunter.

i won't post the entire ex's response on this blog which asked me to "think about" becoming facebook friends as a "small step" ...but i will post my second note, which was even more blunt...and well, to be frank and honest here....pretty mean...and i think obviously showed my annoyance at being pushed for unwanted contact....
"Ummm, I think my previous note was pretty clear. I see being polite as a necessity re: "parties that we may be in attendance at the same time". I've said this to you before.

Also, as I have clearly stated in my previous email, I have no intention for us to have any direct connection now and in the future. This perspective hasn't changed in 10 years and it is not going to change in the future.

I have no interest in you as a person.

Please do not contact me again. Further contact is unwelcome and unnecessary. I don't know how I could be any more explicit.

Thanks."
at this point, i was so annoyed i created filters on my email so that any email that arrives from this person is instantly deleted.

i mean, really, how many times does one have to say "i am not interested in having any connection with you"?

how are these notes fun to write? they aren't fun. it is rather un-fun to write notes asking people to not contact you. particularly for me...it brings up all sorts of unpleasantness.

i am tired. i am jet-lagged. i am weary. i have to be on yet another plane on friday morning. i am in no mood to beat-around-a-bush or be diplomatic with those i have no love or care for.

the most important thing in the world to me is to show those i love....that i love them. when it is my time to pass on, i want those that i love to know that i loved them and to be confident in the fact that i loved them. this is what is important to me at the end of the day.

yet, for those not on the list of loved ones...there is only so far i will be pushed.

for those who know that i would not welcome friendship with them and appear quite perturbed by this, i say "just deal with it. friendship isn't an obligation. friendship is a gift."

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