Thursday, February 12, 2009

pensive over an ice cream cone...

my day started a wee bit early today. i had a presentation today at 8am which meant i was up, online, and practicing around 6am. this was my fault of course, since i didn't practice at all last night. then i realized that despite giving this same presentation 8 times in orlando, i should at least do a run through or two considering the audience....or rather one member of the audience....the super duper analytical member of the exec team was among the audience today, so yes, i knew that i should definitely have my shit together. he had asked for this repeat performance during my last day in orlando...and what was i going to say? "no". right. yeah right. like you would tell the company's #2 "no" to a repeat performance...especially since he and his team were presenting at the same time slot that i was. so he said he was disappointed to miss my presentation and that he had heard good things about it.

the feedback from that time in orlando has been overwhelming positive.... to which BF has said that i should tac the positive feedback on my person and ask for a raise. i let him know that one is already coming without having me to ask for it. i have a good boss that way....and am treated very well by the executive staff at my company. i was reminded of this today when there were discussions of potential special projects for the super duper analytical member of the exec team. he values the quality of work that i provide and has publically said as such. it is nice to be respected and appreciated for one's brain. i was definitely thinking about respect and such while i was taking a break at the berkeley farmers market today.

i did my usual stops at riverdog





happy boy farm

phoenix pastificio

yet, a new stop for me was the ici ice cream stall. despite knowing that i am going to go out for an indulgent dinner tonight...i said, what the heck? why not be like a hobbit and have multiple desserts? i was being pretty pensive and needed a bit of sweet comfort (see top image). so why not be pensive over ice cream?

i think i typically my brain for granted. i think i also take for granted that other people are aware that i have a brain as well. i mean, not to be cheeky and all, but when you are tested left and right with various IQ tests as a neophyte, put into mensa, and start college at 15 because you told your parents repeatedly (almost annually) that you thought starting college between 10-12 would be detrimental for your social development...you start taking for granted at an early age that you aren't exactly stupid. rarely did i or have i interacted with people that thought i was stupid. i mean, i'm not exactly a ditsy person. i'm a pretty intense person and i don't exactly hide this fact. ever. yet, there were some recent interactions i had with people (i.e., men) that seemed to think my value was primarily T&A rather than my brain. oh, hell no, was this going to happen to me. there were plenty of other women around that would fulfill that role for them. lets just say i wasn't at my most diplomatic during those times.

so fast forward to being back and home and having some deep reflection over my various travel experiences in january over my ice cream cone. as i was finishing up my cone, walking back to my apartment, i remembered that at the end of the day, i really like my job. a lot. i am respected and appreciated for the quality of work i produce by the entire executive staff, my boss, my boss' boss, and many members of the senior management team. i'll just continue to deal with the other stuff....and i noticed that the other stuff died down after i did my round robin of presentations. it was almost like a light bulb went off in some of the idiots' heads..."hmmm, maybe she is more that just T&A after all". so, for now, i'll just continue to weigh the good and the not-so-good and if a time comes when i think it is happening too much, then i'll just leave. yet, overall....the experience was a bit of a jolt for the super duper analytical foodie hunter who takes her brain for granted. i suppose lessons like this are necessary to keep me from being too comfortable or smug.

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