Friday, March 6, 2009

the company of women


DH now has the almost finalized copy of my presentation and it will be finalized as soon as i get his feedback. hopefully, he'll be sending over the feedback tomorrow morning. while i was making myself a quick open faced pastrami sandwich today.....



and a "dessert" of toast with lemon curd....

i was thinking about how lucky i am and how glad i am that DH and i have such a good relationship. it makes work a lot more enjoyable. he's a great guy and boss. we have really gotten to know each other pretty well since i joined the company.

when DH and i were just getting to know each other, DH surprised me with the comment: "you seem more comfortable around men then women". i remember looking at him in disbelief and laughing. i know that most of you dear hearts, that have known me since my university days....would have been laughing right there with me. i sobered up quite quickly when i realized he was serious.

maybe it is because DH based in the UK, but since he's become my boss, i've had some pretty interesting conversations that i know i would have never had with him if he was american. also, because i am US-based and he is UK-based, how could he know that the majority of my loved ones are women?...and that the best bosses i have ever had....have been women? and how i would never be where i am today.....the person i am today....if it were not for the women in my life.

it took a moment to put aside the incredulous disbelief...but i tried to "see me" through his lens.

when DH said this....DH and i had just spent an intense amount of time together in the UK and the US.....and we were in our final stop in atlanta, where i introduced him to JS, one of my closest friends...who just happens to be a guy. So from DH's perspective, he saw how comfortable i appeared around JS, the all male executive staff (key word is "appeared"....at this point, DH didn't realize that this is "comfortableness" is a defense mechanism....one does not show fear to executive staff....bad idea...anyway) ...and how indifferent i was with some of our female colleagues and JS's then girlfriend.

these days, DH realizes that my indifference toward people is based on who they are rather than what gender they are. i'm not exactly what i would call an inclusive person. if you are an intelligent driven alpha with analytical tendencies and decide not to use your powers for evil....there is a very high probability that we are going to get along. if you are also compassionate, snarky, sarcastic, observant, passionate, considerate, and genuinely strive to be a good person, then it is very likely that i will love you.

if you are smart and use your smarts to be deliberately mean to others around you, then i will hate you.

as for everyone else, i am indifferent. some people think the indifference means dislike...but it really is indifference....why bother expending the energy to feel anything? it seems like wasted effort.

i think i recalled this long ago conversation with DH today because i received a call from VLD, my previous boss. while i am very glad that i work with DH, i miss working with VLD... a very polished and extremely intelligent alpha who could be extraordinarily evil if she wanted.....but she isn't. she is one of my favorite people and there is something very nice about working with intelligent alpha women. when i first met VLD, i was very careful...because i could see that she was very adept at hiding how smart she really is....and i wanted to see if she was going to use her powers for good or evil. these days, i seem to think of working with women like VLD as a perk rather than an expectation. yet, i do hope for the day when it will no longer be a perk, but rather an everyday unnoticeable occurrence that i, and everyone else, can take for granted.

wouldn't that be nice?

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