Tuesday, March 10, 2009

envisioning a happy medium around midnight...

well, this is a bit of a change. i'm up and about after midnight and it isn't because i just turned something in to make an 8am UK time deadline for work. i just got back from hanging out with JB a little while ago. we caught a show and then played catch up with some warm beverages at a local cafe. since i knew that we would probably be hanging out pretty late, i tried to make super fast simple things to nosh on during the day like these sweet crepes (see above pic).

in this case, it doesn't get any faster than this....as all i did was nuke two pre-made crepes for 15 seconds in the microwave, add some strawberry preserves on one crepe and lemon curd on the other.....then fold them....and then nuke them again for another 15 seconds.

i think this is by far, the fastest meal i have ever made. it was yummy. yup, i think i am a fan of the pre-made crepe. it has allowed me to have some good tastes as well as save me some time during the day. yes, i am a total planner....when i know i am going to see a loved one, i try to ensure that work stuff is at a point where i can be "present" during the hanging out.

it was good see JB and to do some catching up this evening. one of the things i noticed is that when i hang out with loved ones....there isn't a lot (if any) small talk. just one of the topics of conversation was being able to envision what the future will be like...financially through this current economy, creatively through various projects, professionally, relationships, etc. this conversation led to my admitting to JB the difficulty i used to have in trying to envision a life of growing old with the ex-husband. he would say things like "when we are old, we will be doing X" and i remained silent because i just couldn't "see" it. i didn't want to lie. i couldn't envision in my mind what he would be like as an old man.....and i had a hard time seeing myself being there with him. you think that would haven a huge red flag....ummmm, HELL-O! yet, at the time (as i have blogged about before), i thought it was fear holding me back from envisioning either of us being old together rather than my instincts telling me he wasn't the person for me.

well, i was wrong and it wasn't fear after all.

hindsight is perfect isn't it?

yet, as i have mentioned before, i think these sort of experiences were necessary for me to have a bit more faith and trust in my instincts ....especially when the instincts seem to be going against what seems like practical logic. now, i am not saying that i'll become the type of person that will throw all practicality out of the window and just let my heart lead me where ever it feels like going.

i am just hoping for some sort of happy medium.

maybe that is something to envision for my future.....


Victoria said...

Well, at the same time, being able to envision growing old with someone seems like a pretty practical concern if you're planning to spend the rest of your life with them. I'm just sayin'.

foodie hunter said...

True. Yet, at the time, everything was going so well (hence the seemingly practical stuff) so I thought not being able to envision this was because I was too scared to. Oh well. Live and learn I suppose.