Friday, April 24, 2009

easter memories

as i was going through some of the bday pics (like the one above), i was thinking about how much fun the party was. it is hard to believe that it was only a bit over a week ago. i think that i'm going to get a lot of good memory mileage out of that party for quite some time. i'm still smiling now as i think of the loved ones all in one place, the yummy dinner at slanted door, and the crazy one-time-appearance-only dress. when i booked the event room at slanted door so many months ago, i had no idea that my bday this year would fall on easter. easter isn't exactly a holiday that i keep track of. in fact, the last time i really had any significant easter memories was quite a long time ago...when i attended a big out-of-state family bash of a then lover. it got me a bit curious to see what i was feeling and thinking at that time, so i pulled out one of my old journals.

i'm very glad that i did as i couldn't help but laugh at myself.

i was shaking my head as i read through the events around that easter so long ago. it also made me feel a little better about myself. i mean, i know that i'm still pretty emotionally retarded on the whole male-female-interpersonal-relationships outside of business thing...but i'm not nearly as bad as i used to be. i'm not saying that i'm all knowledable about it now....i'm just saying that i am incrementally a bit wiser....but not much. nothing like peaking at an old easter memory to remind myself just how socially awkward i really was....and maybe, how i still am.

i had just started seeing ME who was significantly older than i was. they always were during that time. ME called while i was working late one evening at the beginning of march and said

"so what are you doing for easter?"

"hmmm, when is easter? and why are you asking?", i asked while looking at my spreadsheets and not really paying attention.

"it is in april and my mother wants me to bring you up for easter."

now that got my attention. his family lived outside of california and this would also mean i would have to take time off of work. work, as usual, was very busy. "your mother wants you to bring me up for easter." i repeated. then, without missing a beat, my immediate follow up question was "what have you told your mother about me?"

"i told her that you were short, your name was [foodie hunter], and that i picked you up off the street since i was attracted to the way you looked in a leather mini-skirt."

"well, i suppose that means i'll need to go shopping for a leather mini then...wouldn't want to disappoint your mother." i retorted. we met at a party and i definitely wasn't wearing leather.

"i don't remember what i told her about you" [older and wiser foodie hunter commentary: uhhh, liar liar pants on fire]..."i think she wants me to bring you up because everyone else is is bringing their significant other or whatever they want to call them." ME said quite casually. "she probably doesn't want me to feel like a loser since the other kids are bringing people with them." ME has quite a few brothers and sisters. "oh,
if you can't work. you would need to tell me by april 1st....which is about 4 weeks away" ME added. ME was a program manager at a semiconductor company at the time, so he understood being busy at work.

"i need to think about it."
i said, trying to figure out if i could really take the time off of work....and then another thought came to me.... "you know that i can't reciprocate right? you won't be meeting my family....well, not my bio family."

"yeah, that makes you a keeper. no arguments about whose family you spend christmas with."

i'm shaking my head as i type the time, i really had no idea that this was a pretty big deal. really. OMG, i was so clueless. i was still clueless when i was talking to my editor-in-chief about taking the time off....and him being the nosy guy that he was, asked me why i wanted the time off.....and when i told him, his response was

"what is it with you and guys that want you to meet their families?"

"ummm, i dunno". i answered oh so articulately. "do i get the time off or not?"

so i get the time off and it isn't until we are on his family's land that i realize what a freakin' big deal this is and what i have gotten myself into. i was given ME's old room to stay in while he slept in one of the guest rooms. his extended family is ginormous (at least a 100+ people) and there are all of these tables pushed together inside and outside of his huge place....and the much food....the preparations had been going on for days before we got there. i did a lot of eating during that visit. i discovered that if you kept your plate and your mouth full, it meant that you didn't have to talk very much. it is a sound strategy and one that i would use later....and still do actually.

sigh. i was so out of my element. it makes for a funny easter memory though and gives me hope that maybe years from now, i'll look back on my current social awkwardness and think "hey, at least i'm better now than i used to be....not much maybe....but any progress is good. right?"

hmm. i suppose one can only hope.

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