Sunday, May 3, 2009

journaling on BART


i was on BART when i realized i had a vmail message. i quickly dialed into my vmail at macarthur station since it is the first outdoor station on this train route. it was BF, asking if i was still up for hanging out this afternoon. despite the pig out event being full, i knew i wanted to see BF before i head out to the UK next week. i didn't doubt that we'd figure out something else to do. oddly enough, i hadn't seen BF since the bday party. i quickly called BF to let him know that i was on BART and hence...on my way to his place. after we hung up, i turned back my attention to my journal and was thinking about how BF is the only "B" in my life now. i realized this a couple of days ago when the best friend said "tell B i said hi" and i experienced a bit of a jolt...when i realized that there was no longer a need for clarifiers....no need to say which "B" she was talking about. memory is an odd and funny thing....and i began to write a story in my journal about the foodie hunter and B....not BF....just B.....that happened a long time ago. a story when B and i were friends. i became so engrossed in writing the story that i almost missed my stop. my fingers itched to finish the story...but then i just told myself, i could finish it later. it was time to hang out with BF.

i must tell you something about BF....when BF decides that he loves you, he likes to take care of you. i don't think this is a bad thing. i think this is a pretty amazing thing. i think BF would have made a pretty terrific dad. he really likes to care for people....well, people that he likes anyway. as i mentioned before, both BF and DB took me into their home and took care of me when B and i ended. i didn't ask them to...they just did. it made a big difference for me. i am very lucky person.

today, BF decided to spoil me a bit. well, more than a bit. it started with a box of cocoa bella chocolates (which i love btw) as a belated bday present.

then, we walked to the ferry building and took pics on the way....


once we reached the ferry building, BF decided to treat me to lunch at boccalone.

we both ended up having italian sausage sandwiches which were pretty yummy....


and then walked around downtown for a bit, before returning back to his place. then we proceeded to zone out in front of their new flat panel TV watching a combination of the food channel and "no reservations". then, for the final "spoil the foodie hunter" moment, BF insisted on driving me to the BART station so i wouldn't have to walk. i am still sick and i could tell that BF was watching me like a hawk today...asking if i needed to take a break from walking, etc. i wasn't going to be prideful...getting a ride to BART was nice as i could feel my energy getting a bit low. also, when BF drives me anywhere, it is a supremely luxurious experience. i don't know much about cars...and normally could care less...but i greatly appreciate BF's car. it is like a spa. it is one of those cars that the doors close on their own, you can control the temperature of each seat, and it can park itself. i think it is a lexus. i don't know for sure...i just know it is a supremely comfortable car. i am not in the same tax bracket as BF and DB. obviously.

anyway, as i get back on BART to head back to berkeley, i decide it is a good time to finish my story. i think this is good for me. i think this is something i need to do.

those of you who read my blog for the foodie stuff...should probably stop now. as for everyone else....this is the story i wrote in my journal today:

the irish bank favor

"hey. will you do me a favor? it is a big favor." i said quite solemnly.

"am i gonna wanna do it?" asked B with a mixture of curiosity and wariness in his blue eyes.

"hmmm. i dunno. but it would help me out a lot".

"well, lets hear it." B replied as he began to roll a cig. this is an old habit. B must have a cig ready in case he really doesn't like what is coming next.

"i'd like you to come hang with me and with this guy i know and his girlfriend." i said as casually as possible.

"awww, shit. is that all?" drawled B in his virginia accent as he put the rolled cig behind his ear which showed one of his upper ear piercings. he had twin piercings filled with turquoise studs. "is the girlfriend giving you a hard time?" he asked sympathetically. of course he was sympathetic. he should know. about a year prior, his psycho ex-girlfirend thought he was cheating on her with me. she obviously didn't know me very well. i could have told psycho that she needed to look among her own friends for that particular culprit...but for some reason, i didn't. i guess i didn't like her enough.

"not yet. the guy's girlfriend has started emailing me. it makes me nervous when they start to email me. i need to enact some emergency procedures here. you know what my rule is about stuff like this."

"hell yeah." he said laughing at me and then proceeded to try to mimic me saying "always be nice to the girl."

yup. always be nice to the girl. this is one of those survival tactics that i actually still use. as i work in the technology industry, i often find myself a lone female among a bunch of dudes....working some pretty long hours. i had learned early on in my career that it is always a good idea to be nice to the girl/wife/mistress/potential hook-ups/whatever.

"ya know", B continued "if you just had a different job, you wouldn't have to deal with this. you acq editors. so much drama."

"fuck you. i don't want a different job. i wouldn't be having this issue if i was still seeing ME. it makes them more nervous or something when i am not seeing someone."

"so you want to bring me so the girl will just chill?" asks B as he takes the cig from behind his ear and lights it. "just want to be sure here."

"yeah. you ok with that?"

B looked at me a bit intently as he took a drag and then asked "do you think he's hot?"

"what?" there was a question that seemed to come out of no where. "he has a serious girlfriend....a serious prob going to get married kind of girlfriend."

"seems like a lotta trouble you goin' through to make this girl feel better." B persisted between puffs on the cig. "
what is he to you?"

"someone who doesn't deserve the potential trouble. i don't want to be the cause of any trouble."

"you didn't answer me. do you think he is hot?"

"fine. i'll answer you. he isn't exactly the ugliest guy i've ever been around. are you happy? yet the fact that he isn't ugly is irrelevant." i respond with my chin jutted out. this was as far as i was going to go with this. "are you in or out? i need to know if i should ask Double G instead."

B obviously didn't like the thought of his roommate and one of his closest friends going with me. i wouldn't find out the reason until a few weeks later.

"i'm in." he declared as he stubbed out his cig.

"thanks." i said, quite relieved.

"you owe me."

"obviously."

"where are we going anyway?"

"some place called the irish bank in the city. he likes something called curry fries there."

"wtf are curry fries?" B asked in disbelief and then declared quite gruffly "you really owe me."

sigh. sometimes the things we do for friendship come back and bite us in the ass.

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