Friday, September 4, 2009

clueless and guilt-free

the best friend treated me to a dinner at le colonial in the city the other night.

the company, the food, and the surroundings were lovely.

the decor really did feel like we were in a colonial much that i half expected a 19 year old version of myself to pop out of time portal, and begin pelting me with pages of my honors thesis (on the construction of post-colonial identity of all things), screeching at me ....saying "WTF are you doing here? you traitor!!". i really got worked up about that sort of thing when i was that age. i loved being at le colonial with the best friend as we had some laughs over the irony of us being at this place and we still enjoyed the food. by the time we left though and were walking back to bart, i was feeling a tad bit guilty. i don't know if this guilt (or maybe it was the lemongrass martini) but my senses may have been dulled. while i was paying very close attention to the best friend, i really wasn't paying much attention to our surroundings.

the best friend was able to get a first hand experience of how clueless i can be at times. we were talking about my upcoming trip to ny and then she suddenly injected "well he's going to recognize you again the next time he sees you".

i looked at her blankly, "what are you talking about?" it seemed like quite the non sequitur statement.

"you didn't see that guy? he was staring hard."

it was apparently a guy with friends that passed us on the sidewalk. i didn't even see him. hmmm, maybe he thought he knew me or something. at this point we were walking by union square towards the station, and she made another comment about a guy and i was like "huh?". this time, she half laughed at me and asked me how could i not have seen the guy. i was like "what guy?". then she proceeds to laughingly explain how there was this guy talking on the his cell phone that stopped in front of us, slowly checked me out, and then proceeded to continue walking/talking on his cell phone.

i really didn't see this either. so this is all second-hand.

i think she was a bit concerned about my lack of awareness regarding my surroundings.

in my defense, we were walking around union square. i'm not really as concerned with my surroundings as long as no one 1) touches me b) gets too close to me. if i was in another part of the city (i.e., the mission for example) you betcha that i'm a lot more aware of what the heck is going on around me. i am also a lot more careful when i am walking around major cities by myself....yet, this was union square. was pretty funny though.

today, i was still feeling a bit guilty for enjoying spending the evening at le colonial, so i decided to pop over to kim huong for a bowl of the bun bo hue.

i love this stuff and it definitely assuaged any of the residual guilty feelings.

on the way home, i was thinking about an email exchange i had with the best friend earlier today and she had mentioned something about my dating and its potential impact on my chaotic work schedule. my response was something along the lines of "it would help if i actually noticed when guys are checking me out"....i mean, that is part of the dating scene thing right? you know, noticing things like that. yet, if i am really honest, i've never been good at noticing things like that. sometimes when they do or say something that isn't obvious, which has the heart sister raising her voice to me saying "he was making a pass!", my reaction was "naw, i don't think he was." she's probably shaking her head at me right she reads this.

while there is soup like bun bo hue to assuage guilty feelings.... i don't think there is a soup to cure the foodie hunter of being clueless. but hey, at least i'm guilt-free!

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