Sunday, September 13, 2009

wicked thoughts at beretta

when men decide to give me advice on my sex life, it usually elicits the same reaction. i usually laugh until my sides hurt. it doesn't matter if the men are gay, straight, bi, celibate, whatever floats their boat....i ended up laughing so hard that i have to try to not pee in my pants.

this was really no exception when DB, BF, and i walked around the mission this weekend and somehow ended up at beretta. going to berretta was not part of the plan. the original plan was to tromps around the mission...



grab a burrito at la taqueria, then have first and second desserts at humphry slocombe and dynamo donuts respectively. yet among our wanderings, we walked by beretta. i wanted to stop and take a peek into the place because it was a place on my "i'd like to visit list"...yet, i was thinking of more of an evening visit and not a weekend brunch visit.

yet, BF was intrigued, so we threw the original plans out and sauntered into beretta in all of our super casual attire. after we walked in, i could hear DB whisper, "i think i just brought the hipness factor down a notch or two". i told him that it doesn't matter and not to worry about it. at first, i thought it was quite fascinating our typical mission hipster host (metro, tats, slim-purchased-looking-worn jeans, carefully mussed product threaded hair, questionable hygiene, etc etc.) had led us to a table scrunched next to the fire place mesh grating next to a station given that the place was empty when we walked in....but it later became a blessing when DB and BF decided to volunteer some unsolicited advice on my sex life. i notice this about men in general actually. they are quite good at volunteering unsolicited feedback re: sex. yet the feedback didn't come we were mid-meal...after we dug into the meat plate

and the chicken liver crostini


the meat plate was quite tasty and i thought the garlic rubbed toasts were a nice touch. the chicken liver crostini was quite abundant with a large mound of the protein...i almost want to say a bit too much....but admit that is more of my personal preference. these went particularly well with the wine recommended by our server. i thought it was a nice touch that the server offered to provide me with two tastes of a couple of wines so that i could decide which one i preferred. i think i was surprised because i usually get that sort of service if i am in places that are less hip and more chic-chic...yet, i definitely appreciated the gesture and it was reflected in my tip which was over 20%.

sometimes it really is the small things.

anyway, i suppose after some wine and cocktails,

the guys decided to do some warming up. i had mentioned that i'm thinking about moving back to the city, probably in the spring and that i was a bit tired of being asked "what was my major? and how i usually want to say back "do you realize how old i am?". this of course, became a launching point for all sorts of feedback....and here were a few snippets.....with me laughing quite boisterously in a very hip restaurant between every comment....

  • "what's wrong with that?"
  • "if they are coming up to you, they obviously don't care."
  • "why don't you ask them if they would be interested in just having sex?"
  • "yeah, that is a great idea. you should ask them if they would be interested in having, sex, like, right now."
  • "they'd really love it if you asked them that."
  • "how cool would that be? for you to be like, lets go somewhere right now."
  • "it is better when they are younger because they'll leave when you ask them to."
  • "really, the only question that they will need to answer is 'do you know how to take direction'?"
OMG.

these were just the snippets that i could remember. tears were almost streaming out of my eyes as they kept them coming....and i was also extremely grateful that there wasn't anyone sitting in the tables around us. although, i'm certain members of the staff were able to get quite the earful.

by this point, our other plates had arrived which included the brunch pizza....


and the osso bucco risotto....


and both were very lovely. the food at beretta is really quite good. BF and DB ended up taking some of the pizza that they ordered.

as we left the mission and headed back to soma.....

the guys dropped me off at a station near their place...


i thought about how this whole experience was a reminder that it is not just the food....but it is also the company that makes a food moment memorable....and i do love my deliciously wicked friends.


beretta, 1199 valencia st, san francisco, ca 94110, +1 415 695 1199, www.berettasf.com

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