Thursday, October 1, 2009

intimacy

the other week while i was hanging out with LKB and a friend of her's in san jose, LKB wanted to go see the movie, julie and julia. LKB thought that i would be interested in the movie because of my relative obsession with food and my having a blog. hmmm, this was actually an inaccurate assumption. i really had no interest in seeing the movie. yet, i didn't have the heart to tell LKB otherwise since she seemed so excited about it. i didn't lie about wanting to see it....i just didn't say that i didn't want to see it..... when she asked me if i had seen it, my response was "no, i haven't seen it." and just kind of let LKB take it from there.

i haven't seen a chick flick in a long time [i usually avoid them whenever possible], so i was pleasantly surprised and found that i actually liked the movie. yet, the reason why i liked the movie was not because of the food shots or of meryl streep's portrait of julia child (which was so freakin spot on btw)....the reason why i liked it was because of the director's snippets of comfortable intimacy that only comes from being in a mutually committed long term relationship.

dear readers, i know that this may seem odd coming from the person who just wrote about having a personal preference for a hands-off approach to dating post....yet, my perspective on dating doesn't mean that i don't have an appreciation of intimacy that comes with knowing and loving someone for quite some time.

there are some absolutely wonderful aspects of intimacy....both physical and emotional....that only comes with time. there are the moments of of feeling completely connected with them....not only walking together with strides in synch but also being completely aware and present with an intense mutual understanding of each other because of so much mutual history. there are the moments when you can have complete conversations by exchanging a look or expression. there are the moments where you don't have the mutual fear of being rejected when whispering vulnerable thoughts, neuroses, or secrets to each other. there are the moments where you truly forget about your physical imperfections because you love each other, want each other, and desire each other for who they are....and "as is". there are the moments where they have seen you snotty, farty, sick, bloated, not confident, or vulnerable...and it isn't a big deal...and a kiss, a pat, or hug is never far behind.

there is the laughter.

there is the love.

there are so many exquisite moments....which is probably why so many people continue to be drawn to and seek out relationships. it is likely why so many people try, try, and try again. it is also probably the reason why some people feel more settled and confident when they are in a relationship and must always be in one.

if that is what they need...then that is what they need.

so i guess what i am trying to say is that i understand why people date. i can also recall and appreciate such intimacy with fondness.....and find those in love to be quite adorable at times....i am even smiling right now as i think of a few friends who are "over the moon" regarding their loved ones....and that is how it should be....

yet, that doesn't change where i am at.

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