Monday, February 8, 2010

at this moment

after my slew of meetings this morning, i was noshing on a mung bean and jelly-like sweet i bought in the 'loin....thinking about how i'm having one of those "life can really change in a moment" kind of moments.

just a bit of background dear hearts....i think we've all known that i've been peculating about a potential move from the bay area for a while now. last week, i had a bit of epiphany and thought "why not?" in "why shouldn't i go live somewhere else for a month?" you see if i like it. i had been working under an assumption that i had to pick up and leave for year or years on end...but what if i lived in new york for a month? or paris for a month? or london for a month? and why not do this once or twice a year? the cost of a boutique hotel for a week and half in any of those major cities come pretty close to a month of rent. so why not? why the heck haven't i thought about this option before? perhaps because i was too closed and too fearful of really reaching and asking for what i want in my life? perhaps.

this was something on my mind all weekend...even when i was loungin' in bed, having a quiet moment.... reading...

i found myself a bit distracted as i couldn't help look out the window and think about how i could make this happen...

i already knew that the boss is open to me working anywhere (because he already said so). i mean, no one i work with lives in the sf bay area. no one. all i need is a high speed internet connection, my laptop, and my global service blackberry phone. i've already proven that i can work independently on my projects with various why not say what i want? i want to live somewhere else for a while. i want to experience change that i instigate and decide upon.....rather than having change foisted upon me. see.... here we comes down to saying what i want again.

so back to this morning..... when the boss and i had some pretty intense conversations about the year and i said that there was something i wanted to talk to him about....about me moving to work from another city for a month at some point. his response "it is new york isn't it? i know you so well you know." he's had a feeling about me and new york for a while now.

then, of course, because he really does knows me so well, he decided to drop a little bomb...."the london office may actually happen."

my response. "for reals?"

"for reals. it looks like they may have a building picked out."

and then proceeded to talk about how he thought how great it would be for me to live on the east coast and or in london and how he'd be willing to start investigations on what it would take for me to live in london....but that i should let him know what i want to do.

he knows me so boss. yes he does.

the cynical part of me is like "don't believe that the london office is going to open until it is really open...because who says you have to be there day 1 it opens?" but the hopeful part of me is like "what if....what if it really is for reals? that would be so fuckin' cool." so maybe it is like a 40% chance rather than a 20% chance that an office will open.

this is what i mean dear hearts.....about "life changing in a moment kind of moments". i mean.... yesterday, i was just thinking about living in new york for a month....i was thinking about how new york in october would be nice....since that is when travel starts to tone down a bit for work....and now i'm like...why not do both? why not try new york for a month and then decide between new york and london?

because, why the heck not?

i am obviously processing at the moment and definitely feel like my life is at a cross road. i feel like the decisions i am about to make will determine quite a bit regarding the path i take. i know that this isn't something that would be in effect in the next few weeks....but it has definitely given me a lot of things to think about that would occur this year....and it is very unlike the foodie hunter to talk about things like this before they are fully baked in my own mind....yet, this is where i am this very moment.

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