Friday, February 5, 2010

step into foolishness

it was an early start this morning as i am still wading through the few hundred emails that came through while i was out on holiday. i have a sneaking suspicion that DH and my team are very glad that i am back on email. i am pretty calm as i read through the various communications....i think it is rather funny as i explicitly stated that i wasn't checking email while i was out but that didn't stop the "emergencies" that popped up requesting help...probably on the off chance that i was really checking email. well, i needed a break so i took it. i have a feeling that they figured it out on their own didn't they?

after the flurry of meetings and communications this morning with the UK office, i decided to putter around in my kitchen to make myself some brunch. i had been looking forward to making something with the dandelion greens from happy boy farm that i bought at the farmers market yesterday.

aren't they beautiful?

just beautiful.

i'm not certain what it is about veggies...maybe it is because i am such a california gal born and bred that i love produce. or maybe i just love produce because i do. as i cleaned the vibrant and crisp greens, i could feel myself enter a quietly contemplative mood.

yes, i am sad. why should i deny it? and why shouldn't i give myself the space to be contemplative?

i often have these conversations between my heart and my brain. the brain usually dominates, no doubt. this should be a surprise to no one, least of all myself. this is who i am. yet, lately, the heart took over and now here i am.

i was expecting more self abuse about me and my foolish heart....which made me think about this song by jazmine sullivan.


"i'm done denying anything. i'm done with trying to battle how i feel." i muttered to myself as i whacked and smashed the green garlic i bought from riverdog farms yesterday and put a pot of salted water to boil. "hmmmm. greens and pasta, yeah, that sounds nice."

i figured that the green garlic would hold up the strong flavors of the dandelion greens. i also grabbed some of the purple basil vinegar i made a few months ago and a few dried chilies for the greens as well.

then i proceeded to saute the green garlic and chilies with some butter and kalamata extra virgin olive oil......

and just let that foam up.....

and dropped in the dandelion greens and listened to the hissing. then i quickly grabbed the package of wild mushroom ravioli that i bought from phoenix pastificio.

hmmm, i do love their pastas and the guy working the phoenix booth must of realized i was such a pansy since i intended to only buy the buckwheat pasta but then he up sold me on the mushroom ravioli since they made this batch with chantrelles and the story about the mushrooms coming from tilden. well done dude. it wasn't hard to sell me the mushroom ravioli since mushrooms are one of my favorite things in this world.

anyway, i popped in a few of the ravioli into the simmering water and then quickly turned the greens in the pan and splashed in a few dashes of the homemade basil vinegar....and tasted the greens.

hmmm. nice. these aren't wimpy greens that is for certain.

so i plated the greens and took a few food porn shots in the late morning light....

and thought about how comforting cooking is and how cooking is more of an emotional experience for me. this is, of course, not a new thought or idea. yet, it is what was running through my mind.

then i gently added a few of the ravioli and spooned on some of the butter sauce on top.

awwww, doesn't that look beautiful?

it is quite soothing to look at......
and it was wonderful to taste as well.

as i was eating my brunch, i was contemplating me and my foolish heart and how we are going to be keeping each other company for a while. not only do i know that there isn't anything i can do about know....futile efforts to try to figure out a way to speed up the process.....i'm also finding that i don't want to do anything about it. i'm finding that what happens is what is going to happen and it is on its own time line....and amazingly enough, the-must-always-be-in-control-of-my-feelings-foodie-hunter is actually ok with this.

there has been nothing about this experience that i have been able to i've decided to stop trying to predict anything and just let it be.

well, must get back to work....until later dear hearts....


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