Sunday, February 7, 2010

you know what you need...

"you know what you need?" volunteered a loved one in a very serious tone as we were hanging out and looking at various merchandise in stores.

hmmm. considering that this is a male loved one, i had a sneaking suspicion that this unsolicited advice was going to be related to sex.

"you need to take up one of those young guys on their offers", he declared.

hmmm. did i call it? or did i call it?

"ummm, i'm older than them." i said, pointing out the obvious. "it doesn't really seem that fair. they are at a distinct disadvantage."

"who cares?" he said exasperated with me.

"it all seems rather complicated." i reply quite primly.

then the loved one then wandered off to look at some merchandise muttering about "morals" as he walked away.

sigh. i know he loves me and wants me to be happy....and even though i'm not a guy, i think it is pretty safe for me to say that most guys put sex as one of the top 5 (hmmm or maybe top 2) things as a "cure all".

sure, yeah, it would be easier if i had that mindset.....you know...the random hook-up, whatever, i-get-mine, and then-don't-let-the-door-hit-you-or-me-on-the-way-out. but i don't. i actually want to like and respect the people i have sex with.

see how this gets complicated?

i've had many a friend inform me that i was born in the wrong time period. this is probably true in this respect.... but i do like living in this day an age of technology though.

personally, i think sex is a hella lot better when you actually like the person....and if you have an emotional connection.....it can be an intensely amazing mind-boggling experience. from my perspective, it is like why bother with pale imitations when the real thing is so much better? this perspective should surprise no one as i have a similar perspective about food. i'd rather have smaller quantities of amazing shit rather than large quantities of mediocre shit. plus, i think it is quite unfortunate that our culture seems so non-accepting of masturbation....or perhaps i should say non-accepting of female masturbation for the purposes of female self-pleasure and not for the vicarious pleasure of men....because, masturbation can be a hella lot more fun than mediocre sex. yet, i realize this is not everyone's perspective (particularly among my male friends and loved ones...who think mediocre sex is better than masturbation).

i bet i just lost 20% of my readership with the above section.

oh well.

just a reminder...i did go to berkeley.... i am quite able to talk and write about this kind of shit without blinking an eye.

anyway, the loved one decided that he was going to treat me to a meal at blue since i had never gone before and he needed to drop some paperwork off at his accountant. while he was dealing with his accountant, i took advantage of a break in the rain to take some pics of some lovely flowers at a local florist shop.....


i love taking pictures....random moments of loveliness that i may have just let pass by before.....


once he was done, we walked over to blue and i immediately ignored all of the brunch options. it is my understanding that blue is better known for the "comfort" sort of food so i was difficulty trying to decide whether i was going to have the mac n' cheese, tuna casserole, or the chicken fried steak.

i decided on the chicken fried steak as i haven't had it in years. when it arrived, the loved one said "i'm glad to see that you still have your appetite".


followed by a "how come you are so little?"

i just laughed. i very much doubt that i would ever starve myself over a guy....no matter how heart broken i may be.....i love food way too much to not eat. the food arrived pretty quickly and as the loved one dug into his club sandwich and me plowing my way through the chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli....


the loved one decided to say "you know what i really want for you? i want you to find someone who will adore you."

kay, that was almost enough to make me cry in my sausage gravy.

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