Friday, March 12, 2010

comfort with colors


i've been silent recently.

i haven't stopped cooking, taking pictures, or writing....i haven't been writing in the blog because i do not have any clarity on how i am feeling right now. i still don't.

it is one thing to pen scribbles of seemingly indescribable random thoughts that seem to dance around what i am feeling.....well, perhaps not just dancing around but also poking, prodding, trying to elicit reactions....seeing what happens....but it is another to write them in this blog.

i am also fighting something off the past week or so and yesterday, i could feel the soreness in my throat hurt enough that it actually woke me up from sleeping. thankfully, i hadn't stopped cooking...in fact...it has just been the opposite as i have been working things out in my kitchen. one of the things i've tried to do is cook with and take pictures of color. things like roasting purple potatoes with sage, salt, and olive oil and deliberately contrasting the purple potatoes with the red and green backgrounds.....






and cooking chick peas.......which i soaked over night........


later admiring them in the bright afternoon sun....


before i simmered them with chilies, onion, and bay leaf....




for hours and hours.....


they are ready when they are ready....and i only know when they are ready when they taste ready.


some things can't be rushed.

yet, putting these things in motion earlier in the week helped me as this sickness seeped in and i was able to eat leftovers during this very dreary rainy day today.

here is a pic i took of a typical meal i've had this week....


as i write this, i realize that i should be at the film festival tonight but i had to cancel (i may also cancel tomorrow as well) as i didn't want whatever i have to get out of hand....since there is a dinner at namu that i don't want to miss on sunday as well as my upcoming trip to nyc next week. i really don't want to be sick in nyc.

hopefully, i will have some clarity on what i am feeling sooner than later. or perhaps, this is just where i am....not certain what is going on with me. ironically enough, after waiting for other independent hearts and loves....now i am waiting on myself.

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