Thursday, July 29, 2010

a good and bad day

hmmm. yesterday when i wrote that post about everything going so well
, there was this voice inside of me that said "aren't you tempting fate a saying how good things are going? the gawds may hear you and decide to respond."

and so they did.

it made for an odd day. an odd day of good and bad. so here is my story of my day.

during my morning meetings i get some news that throws me off kilter. i'm still processing it. i was really glad when the meetings wrapped up and i put my virtual "out to lunch" sign on....i just had to go for a walk. i needed to leave my apartment. i needed to think.

i find myself at the ferry building before the lunch rush and decide, of course, to stop at hapa ramen. after i place my order and pay for it, i find myself doing a little dance as i wait because i have been looking forward to trying this sandwich ever since i saw hapa ramen tweet about last night. i have a thing for tuna sandwiches and this one included olive oil poached albacore, bacon, japanese mayo, and pickles!

i was very excited about my sandwich. then i realized that it wasn't super busy yet and that meant i should do what i said i would do....

...which was bug hapa ramen and say "hi!". so i walk over to a spot near where they are working to say hi. at this moment, i feel like an incredible dork. in my head i'm thinking "they are busy. it looks like they are down someone on the line. i don't want to distract them. does this make me a stalker or something? is this really such a good idea?" but i stay put. because i remember the last two times i didn't say something i received a couple of tweets about it. the tweets seemed to have a vaguely older brother guilt inspiring tone about them. he's gonna be really good at the dad thing.

then hapa ramen comes over to say hi with some rice and noodles. it is all good.i wonder why did i feel so self-conscious? then i dig into my yummy sandwich. i love the spike of pickles against the savory messiness coupled with the chewy slightly crusty roll.

by the time i am done, the emotions and such from the morning seem to have faded enough to be bearable and i am ready to get back to work.

after working for a few hours, i take a break to pay the library a visit and see if it may be a potential place for me to work in the late afternoons. i'm still trying to scout out my "afternoon work places" that are relatively close to my place or easy for me to get to. as i am wandering around the library, my brain registers that i'm running across this teenage boy pretty often, but it is more of a "hmm. weird. whatever."

until i decide to sit down and take a couple of notes about something that popped into my head re: one of my projects. i wanted to get it down on paper before i forgot.

then the teenager decides to deliberately run himself into the corner of the table i'm sitting at.


i'm pretty horrified once i realize what is about to happen.

he delivers his opening lines pretty quickly and i'm rather stunned.

he is a teenager. he still has his baby fat. he is holding manga. if he is even 18 years old, i'll eat crappy fast food for a week.

i try the nice (because he is so young) but very firm approach with, "thank you for the nice words but i am a lot older than you."

his response is that he doesn't think he is so young. then looks up at the ceiling as if trying to figure out an appropriate age and then says a number which i know is a complete and utter lie. as DH would say "this lad is telling porkies".

that isn't even the best part.

the age he threw out would still make me way too old for him anyway. i feel so old at this moment.

i tell him that i'm still A LOT OLDER than him. hoping that this would freak him out. then he declares that "it doesn't matter!!"

variations of this goes back and forth.

i want to bang my head against the table.

i cannot believe i am having this discussion in the library.

this is what happens when you gain the attention of fate and fate decides to teach you a few lessons.

then i say "no. thank you but no." very very very firmly.

he walks away. i wait for a few minutes, exit the library and walk home. as i walk home i chastise myself and said i should have handled that with more grace. yet, frankly, i've always sucked at that sort of thing my various ex-lovers and ex-boyfriends have felt the need to point out to me about the "courting stage"...yeah, i'm much better in a relationship or if i know you for a long time. even then, various ex's have indicated that approaching me with "intentions" has required some serious strategy and planning on their part due to my cluelessness. still, i should have handled it better because he is so young. it did take some serious balls to approach me. i'll give him that. yet, i don't know why it bothered me so much. i guess it was like i kicked a puppy. [which to clarify i have never done btw].

because i really want to forget what just happened, i attack my work with gusto. i bury myself in market segments, fiscal revenues, branding strategies, and such for a few hours until i feel like i am no longer one step closer to hell for being such an ass. then i realize that i am hungry so i grab the green tea soba noodle salad from hapa ramen.

noodles are a perfect comfort food. these are particularly tasty. i really like the tang from the plums coupled with the sesame. i am still eating this now as i type these words. the reason why i have pics to show you is because when i got home from the ferry building i had a feeling i'd be eating this at night so i took pics (and a taste) of both the soba noodle salad and the rice salad. i'll be having the rice salad tomorrow. it gives me something to look forward to.

now do you see dear hearts? how today has been this odd mixture of bad and good? i suppose that is life really doesn't know what is going to happen from one moment to the next....and it is important to just live each moment and do the best that i can. sometimes my best will be pretty awful (as evident today)...yet perhaps it is something i needed to experience and learn from.

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