Monday, August 2, 2010

still can't believe

the heart sister: "i still can't believe you live here"
foodie hunter: "me neither."

this was a tidbit of a conversation between me and the heart sister this weekend. i took today off and it has been a great extended weekend as it has given me the chance to spend some quality time with the family. today, the heart sister and i took the moppet to the sfmoma to look at art as well as share some drinks and nibbles at the bluebottle cafe on the sfmoma rooftop garden.

we are now members of the museum so i sense many additional visits in our futures (with and without the munchkins). it was great to get there before it got too crowded. at that time of the morning it seemed to be primarily french and italian tourists wandering around. i decided to purchase a membership for a few reasons.... i'm not really a fan of trying to "cram in" seeing tons of art in a single visit.....i've already been to the museum quite a bit over the past few months and the membership also gives me an excuse to visit more often......i must also admit that i do like hanging out with my cup of bluebottle on the rooftop. i'm going to take full advantage of having a flexible work schedule as well as living in the city this time.

after our visit to the moma, we headed to the ferry building for a quick bite before they boarded the ferry and i returned back to my 'hood to get situated before the best friend's bday event at adesso tonight. before i returned to my place, i decided to stop off at a nearby park that i visited for the first time this past saturday with the family. as i was taking pics from the park....

it reminded me of the heart sister's comment from saturday....about how she still can't believe i live here. this makes two of us. i think about this a lot.

probably more than i should.

it also reminded me of the moppet's question while we were walking through the park on saturday. she pointed to one of the buildings and asked "is that a mansion?". i didn't immediately respond as i wasn't quite certain what to say. then the moppet, who never lacks for questions (i think she takes after me in that way), followed up with "do you live in a mansion?" now, i had an immediate answer for that question "no, i don't live in a mansion." then the heart sister decided to gleefully chime in with "not yet!".

no pressure or anything. sigh. i very much doubt i will be living in a mansion.

yet, i should probably just enjoy everything and take ownership for working pretty hard to get where i am right now..... instead of emotionally asking myself "how the fuck did this happen?"....when intellectually i know exactly how i got here. yet, sometimes what i may "know" intellectually is not as easy to believe emotionally.

it all still makes my heart here....this lifestyle....and i mean.... really..... look what i did/doing on my day off. i went to the sfmoma to see a bit of art, had a coffee in the museum's rooftop garden, had lunch at the ferry building, and i'll be having dinner at adsesso tonight. if anyone told me less than 3 years ago that i would be living in pac heights, doing an international job that required some odd (but flexible) hours, and having a such bougie day off.....not to mention telling you, dear readers, about it.... i would have said "you are absolutely freakin' crazy!!! what have you been smokin' recently?"....but deep inside under layers upon layers of super duper analytical practicalness would have been a super tiny quiet spark of hope that would have whispered "really? that sounds kinda cool."

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