Thursday, September 16, 2010

know me or not

one of my morning meetings didn't happen so i thought i'd take a quiet moment, sip on my morning hot chocolate, and relay a few random thoughts.

i received an invite the other day to an office warming party. this, in itself, is not unusual. over the past couple of years i've received invites for openings, parties, panels, etc. which i get tickled by as i don't consider myself a member of the "press". i have friends who are journalists....real journalists...and who are great journalists with high quality news outlets. so, when i get those sort of invites i think it is kind of funny but i am usually not interested in going...especially with the whole anonymity thing. yet, this particular invite was the first time i seriously considered attending.....because it had to do with food, photography, technology, and a rather driven scrappy start up that i've been observing since they were in alpha. i gave them some pics when they were in alpha stage (i liked their idea) and it has been fun watching them grow from the sidelines. i have a feeling they will do well. i didn't end up attending their new office warming party though because of my work meeting schedule was pretty packed and because i had already agreed to have dinner plans with someone at schmidt's. the person i had dinner with has no idea of the existence of "foodie hunter", i thought it would be a bit rude to say to him that i was going to bail on dinner because i wanted to go to this "thing" or because "something else came up." that would be a rather douche bag thing to do. also, not like i could bring him with me because then i'd have to explain about the whole foodie hunter thing.

yeah...and well.... that was definitely not something i wanted to talk about with him.

i was thinking about the whole anonymity thing while i was waiting for him to arrive at haus so that we could walk over to schmidt's. i was having a pot of tea and doing some brush up work-related reading.

i aim for reading 1 book a month that is work related...which isn't too bad considering that the other 4-6 books i read on monthly basis are pretty much graphic novels, sci-fi, thriller, or fantasy.

admittedly though, my thoughts were wandering away from the material i was reading. it is one of the reasons why it is a good idea for me to read this sort of thing away from home as it is rather too tempting to do things like, read the latest from julia wertz (drinking at the movies) rather than reading this older seminal piece that i should really have read before now. so instead of being focused on strategic frameworks, my thoughts were wandering to the upsides and downsides of the anonymity thing.

who i am on this blog is "me". the good, the bad, the stubbornly obstinate. it is the "me" that up until the inception of this blog was only seen by my closest friends and family. ironically enough, i am a rather private person. yet, as part of my growth i saw the blog as a motivator to push me to be more open and be more aware of the of those paths i knew would be difficult....and that i just had to go down.

i didn't anticipate people actually reading the blog....well other than my closest friends and family out a sense of obligation or wanting to see what i was up to especially given my crazy ass schedule these past couple of years. these days, i look at my various flickr and google analytic stats with an odd mix of horror and fascination. i've also received some rather nice and touching emails, tweets, direct messages, etc. which surprise me....each time. as a result, i've met some really funny and interesting people because of this blog and the various pics i have taken. i suppose that given the amount of people in this world, it really shouldn't surprise me that there are people out there that have experienced the same things that i have experienced...or can relate to my random ramblings about everyday passions for food, writing, photography as well as my internal efforts of trying to be the change i wish to see in the world.

yet, it is still a bit odd to meet or get to know people "in the flesh" whom i have no desire to let them know about this blog's existence....or to be quite candid....i suppose it means that i have no desire for them to really know me.

it is all rather contradictory isn't it?

it is probably why my ultra analytical brain is still processing this and probably will continue to do so for a while longer.

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