Sunday, September 19, 2010

processing with poha

despite a project being due at midnight tonight, i took some time to have a brunch at with a loved one and a walk about the new people building in japantown as they had never been there before. as we played catch up for a couple of hours, i found myself in a familiar situation and asking myself a familiar question.

how do i support and be there for those that i love that have such independent hearts?

i have written about this before.

it isn't like this aspect of my life has gone away. while each person that i love may have very different personalities....they are the core, extremely driven independent people. life does not "just happen" to these people, they make things happen and are often the ones that take on the responsibilities for others.

they are all alphas.

myself included.

so it is interesting to navigate how to provide support, care, and love for independent hearts during challenging times. sometimes approaching this can be akin to approaching a wolf that has their paw in a trap. one has to be very watchful, very careful, very patient, and quite determined to have your way.

from my perspective, the care and support is going to happen, i just have to figure out how it is going to be carried out without pissing off the wolf too much. i think it is safe to say that i am probably among the most stubborn of all of my loved ones. while many of them are more clever, more witty, more funny, more organized, more driven, and more emotionally fluent than i am.....i think i may be decidedly more stubborn then all of them. this is not something to be proud of. it is more of a self-awareness kind of thing.

this is very prominent on my mind at the moment and i realized that if i am going to get my head back into my work project, i needed to process and reflect on this before i get back to work. so these were the thoughts running through my head as i was exploring the "new to me" fruit called poha or cape gooseberry.

i bought these at the farmers market yesterday and it tasted quite delicious. when i felt the berry burst on my tongue i thought...a bit tart...a bit sweet...with a flavor that is similar to a grapefruit. then the skin gives it a more savory earthy flavor...similar to the skin of a tomato. there are also these super tiny seeds...that aren't as cushioned as the seeds in a tomato. i was intrigued.

so i bought a bunch and have them at home right now.

the husks themselves are very lovely.

each light husk holds a berry....when you hold one, they are unexpectedly light....

then when you peel the husks back, you see the little treasure reveal itself. when you peel back the husk, you can smell the earthy almost tomato-like fruity aroma.

it seems difficult to know which ones are yellow or green from the outside, but please avoid the unripe green ones. according a web page housed with purdue, it seems like the green ones may be toxic:

i think this may be one of those things that is better safe than sorry. unfortunately, i didn't read this until after i tried a green one. the green ones are pretty bitter. it never crossed my mind that they would be better left uneaten. i thought "hmmm, why not try for comparison purposes?" ironically enough, i felt my tummy do some whirling and cramping right before i began looking for historical information online on poha for this blog. i was a wee bit annoyed by the digestive issues but i didn't think it was the fruit as it could have been anything that i ate over the past day or two. it wasn't until i saw the reference to the unripe fruit being potentially toxic that i had a moment of ....hmmm....should i tell someone? you know just in case?


i, like those i love, am pretty independent, and feel rather silly asking for help or support.

the irony of this happening while i was processing about how do i provide support for independent hearts is not lost upon me.

so after thinking about this a bit more, the very practical part of the foodie hunter won out. i called the heart sister to let her know what i did. so now she is calling me every hour on the hour to make certain that i haven't poisoned myself. while i don't think i have, especially from just a single berry.... and it is probably just coincidence. i'm drinking a lot of mint tea while i write this posting in an effort to flush things out of my body.

yet, the ripe poha are lovely little fruits. there is a bit of a oil on the outside when you peel them from the husk. also, there is an abundance of these tiny seeds. this is what they look like on the inside....

yes, there are a couple of green ones on that plate. i ate a couple of halves after i took the shots and well before i read that stuff on the purdue web site. oh well, it is good to have close family where you can call and say things like "i may have done something stupid but i don't know for sure and can you call me to make certain i didn't poison myself? and did i mention how stupid i feel?"

i'm not certain what the universe is trying to tell me at this moment. it is all rather odd that this went down when and while i was processing about what it means to support those that i love who are so independent.....who never want to be perceived as a burden....who take so much time to be responsible for others....even those that they may not personally like or care about.....who i know that can handle anything that life hands to them by themselves....but really......they shouldn't have to. know.....because this is what it means to love and be loved.

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