Sunday, February 6, 2011

could have had it all

i slept in this morning and it was much needed. i'm feeling a bit worn and shorn. although it is super sunny outside, i have the blinds drawn in an effort to keep things cool in my place. even my adorable pets are stretched and splayed out on the cool wooden floor trying to keep cool as well. they are such san francisco pets....they really don't know what to do with warm weather.

i know that it is odd to keep the sunny rays out of my apartment during this streak of sunny warm winter weather (how's that for an odd thread of words?). i suppose i am not in the mood. i think i'm recovering from the week and thinking about the week ahead. neither being very pleasant.

i'm nibbling on my "morning" meal which consists of acme's buckwheat raisin bread,
a wedge of devil's gulch cheese from cowgirl creamery, and a handful of almonds.

i'm also drinking a large mug of strong english tea. simple to assemble, hearty in flavors, and a combo that is completely at odds with the weather outside but suits me just fine. at this moment, it is winter....a time to be protected by layers upon layers of cold. when i cut into the buckwheat bread today, i realized that i seem to be on this buckwheat kick the past week or so

.....whether it be a hankering to try out this new (to me) bread or eating so much soba over the past week.....

i'm not certain what that is about. this, of course, is not unusual. given my super duper analytical nature, there are times when i'm able to focus, process, and figure out what is going on. but there are other times, when i just have to accept that there are things that i will not understand and hope that ....maybe...just maybe....i'll understand one day and maybe it will hurt less.

in the meantime, i'll just keep "listening" and try to give myself the necessary sustenance to move forward.

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