Monday, February 14, 2011

not easy

hmmmm. i'm taking a break from work and given the rain that has decided to creep into the city and put us on track for actually having real winter weather, i'll probably be sequestering myself in my apartment all day. good thing that i still have half of my burrito from la taqueria left over.....


the pics were from yesterday and i'm happily humming to myself while i enjoy my leftovers for a pretty hearty lunch. anytime i get my usual (carnitas, cheese, avocado, and sour cream) at la taqueria, it is a two meal event. i know that every year or so, all sort of food publications, bloggers, etc. want to talk about the "best of" burrito amongst other comfort sort of foods. yet, for this foodie hunter, la taqueria (2889 mission street ...between 24th + 25th) is the place that i go to....over and over. i have been visiting them for over 15 years. something new i did this time though was get a side of jalapenos....

they are pretty huge aren't they? i love taking food porn pics. almost as much as i love eating what i'm taking pics of.

so, as i'm munching on my lunch of leftovers, i wanted to ponder and verbalize something i've been processing and discussing with friends and loved ones. i'm not sure why i want to process it today of all days. but that is the great thing about being accountable to no one but myself in this blog. i can write about whatever i want to.

now, i'm not going to name any names or even monikers this time as i want to protect the innocent and guilty alike.

sooooo, a topic of conversation that has come up recently and often amongst myself and friends recently is the theme of "celebrity status"....specifically how people react to it....whether it be a para-social experience (i.e., where people discuss common celebrities within an industry as if they know them...or have even met them....but in actuality have not even met them), or those that seek to befriend people of celebrity status in order to vicariously increase their own status, or developing friendships with people you "click with" that just happen to be celebrities.

i've watched how strangers will treat certain friends differently once they find out who they are and/or where they work. i've also observed how fast a friend will build up a seemingly invisible and yet impenetrable virtual "wall" as strangers treat them differently.

i'm guessing the friends are trying to figure out what...if anything....the strangers want from them. and no, i'm not just talking about the food industry. i find this transfers over to multiple industries. a prime example are distinguished/principal engineers [hello brains!] at technology firms that bring in billions...it is rather fascinating to see the horde converge on them after a talk at a conference and observe the dynamics in play.

anyway, i understand why these friends do this....you know....create this wall....or evaluation stage of strangers.....some friends are more diplomatic, socially adept, and open than others...yet, i understand why they do the evaluation and why the wall is there.

because, sometimes people really suck.

there are those that are jealous of the person's status, work, creativity, etc. and seek to tear them down. people will say some truly awful things that stem from jealousy.

there are those that look at people as opportunities to be leverages/manipulated (i.e., can i have X for free? or can you do X for me?) under the guise of cultivating a friendship. btw, i view business alliances differently....those are rather up front mutually beneficial exchanges.

there are those that do not have a strong sense of self confidence, self worth, and self respect....and are looking to acquire (i.e., fuck) the other person in order to obtain a vicarious sense of higher status....this is otherwise known as a "groupie". groupies are not gender-specific btw. they look at relationships with people like collecting trophies or status bags for some odd notion of bragging rights. these sort of people confuse me and my analytical self.

human beings are not trophies or bags.

to be fair though, some friends are FULLY aware that there are folks that seek to leverage or fuck them for status or an exchange of opportunity.....but they go along with it anyway.... from my perspective, it is their life....their choices. i may not agree with their choices....but i will always support them.

yet, where does this leave making meaningful connections with people....even between those of higher "celebrity" sort of status and not?

well, i guess, to be frank, it sucks then.

i mean, making meaningful lasting connections and friendships with people is not easy....well, i don't find it easy being a non-famous person.... so why would it....or should it be any easier for famous people?

from my perspective, i'm not going to like you just because you are famous. in fact, if you are famous (and i didn't know/love you before you were famous) then i'm much more likely to scamper in the opposite direction (which has been well documented in this blog). hell, i'm a hard person to get to know anyway. i'm also socially awkward. my development skewed more on the analytical side than the social side.

just last week a loved one decided to succinctly point this out to me with a wee bit of anger how difficult it is to become friends with me. my response to him was a cheeky grin, "yup, that is true. whhhaaat? did you expect me to deny it?". because it is true....not only because i'm a shit and an asshole....but it is because when i love someone, i really love them, as a person....and who they really are. dude, that takes time.

also, as i have mentioned before, those that i love...while they are all different...and work in so many different industries from design, technology, education, journalism, food, etc....they inhabit some common characteristics. they are all extraordinarily strong alpha personalities. they are passionate. they are smart. they choose to not be evil (even though they know they could get away with it). they are driven.... and no matter their situation.... they all seek to become the change they wish to see in the world.

they may express these characteristics differently, but the characteristics themselves and their core motivations are the same.

there are not a lot of people running around this world that encompass these characteristics and qualities....and love me and all my stubborn analytical asshole-ness as well.

hence, from my perspective, making lasting and real connections are not easy....no matter who you are.....whether you are "famous" or "not famous".

yet, the most amazing and lovely experiences in life aren't easy.

2 comments:

Chelsea said...

Last year was my first visit to La Taqueria, and it was the BEST carnitas burrito I've ever had. Sigh, I wish it was closer to me.

foodie hunter said...

yeah, i know exactly what you mean. when i was living in berekely, i'd make special trips for their carnitas burrito. one year, it was my pick for my birthday meal...no one seemed to mind though. :)