Saturday, April 2, 2011

a second look

it is an incredibly beautiful day in the city right now.

while i was headed to the market at the ferry building....the weather was more than a bit overcast with an oddball spot of sunshine here or there. seeing this on the way to the market, i was thinking through my saturday morning haze.... "hmmmm, talk about indecisive. could you pick what you want already?" yes, i do that. i talk to the universe in my brain. often. don't pretend that you don't do it too.

the market hadn't crowded up yet, so i was able to zoom around very quickly to make pit stops at star route, tierra, marin roots, dirty girl, and sun marin farms (eggs! CK turned me on to their eggs).

then i took a minute to assuage my mood....as i decided that i was in the mood to comfortably sit down and have breakfast...and since it was early and not crowded yet....i realized that i may have the opportunity to stop into il cane rosso and have the broken farro porridge that i've been wanting to try. the times i have stopped by, it has been sold out. so i scurried over to il cane rosso and sure enough....they still had it on the menu....and it wasn't crowded yet.

must be fate.

so ordered and grabbed a seat....

doing a bit of writing and such while waiting for the broken farro porridge to arrive. i do love being at the market. i love the energy, the color, the smells, the delight at coming across something that i've never seen before, the anticipation of trying out something new (to me) like an ingredient such as bergamont mint (from marin roots)..... or a bowl of porridge.....

it was just as i expected it to be....lovely, tasty, and comforting....just like everything else i've eaten at il cane rosso. just delicious. the heartiness of the grains, the slight hints of sweetness from brown sugar and the raisins, with a nice crunch from the roasted almonds.


yum yum. by the time i made my way through the porridge and my blue bottle coffee, i noticed the crowds were getting quite a bit larger which was my cue to exit. i did my final stop at acme bread for my usual and then headed home. one of the reasons why i ensured that i was at the market early today is because i have some afternoon plans with loved ones. as i walked to the muni stop, i noticed that the sun was winning over the clouds...and then i stumbled upon these beautiful flowers.....


i had to stop. i could literally feel my fingers twitch as if i was compelled to take a picture.
as i was taking the shots.....being enamored of the vibrant yellow.....the contrast of colors.....


i realized that i had actually already passed by them earlier....on the way to the market...but i didn't even notice.

yet, here i am now, completely present in the moment, to appreciate them. it is one of the things i love about photography.....


that i am able to be in the moment....and how...sometimes, i find moments that express what i am feeling....when i can't find the words. while i was taking the pics, i was reminded of a conversation i had with a creative loved one last week and they were gently giving me a scolding about how i substantially play down some of my creative efforts.

my response was that the reason why they have developed is because i needed to do them...not because i wanted to be good at them...or pursue them to pursue them....but because i needed an outlet when words failed me. when words.....my outlet....my crutch....my sanctuary....have left me and i am left there....alone...completely mired in a mucky whirlwind that i have no idea how to get out of.

yet,that is life.

it means having to experience significant points in where i have been mute...unable to articulate through words what i am feeling. yet, i know that they need to be expressed......they were not going to be silenced......and i sure as hell wasn't going to just give up and be one with my unexpressed whirlwind of emotions.

i am not exactly a zen-like personality.

i'm more of a "fuck on that shit ....what can i find, discover, or do to get me out of this" kind of personality.

hence my discovering certain passions ....like photography....that i never knew existed within me before a few years ago. i think we are meant to find our passions. i think we are given opportunities to discover them and it is up to us to see it....and pursue it.

it is one of the things that i love about life....that no matter what is happening....no matter the challenges....the risks....the heartaches.....that there will always be potential for discovery. it will never be too late to pursue my passions or discover new ones. i also hope, dear reader, that it is this way for you as well.

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