Friday, January 20, 2012

feel like it

the other night when i was hanging out with a friend at the boxing room and smuggler's cove.....

the friend mentioned during the evening that when they don't see a posting from me in a while they get a bit worried that something has happened.

no worries.

i'm still here.

i'm still writing.

i just haven't been writing here.

writing is too much a part of me to stop writing. i will always write, even if my audience is an audience of one. i was hanging out with some other friends and the subject of writing came up over drinks and nibbles at absinthe....and one of the things that came up was how writing makes itself known...and how not writing....well, it feels like something is missing. i've accepted that i can't not write. i've accepted that a long time ago. i just haven't been writing for the foodie hunter blog.

hanging out with the friend at boxing room and smuggler's cove reminded me that there are some folks that i don't see as often so they probably don't realize the background of why i had been writing less here. a while ago, i joined google plus and then within a period of a few days.....i had several hundred people (like over 700) that decided to follow foodie hunter that i'm pretty certain that had never heard of foodie hunter before. it happened because of a couple of shout outs and inclusion various "sharing circles" presented by some writers and artists.

yet, as a result, there were all of these people not based in the sf bay area, new york, chicago, hong kong or london...which is where the majority of ongoing folks that keep tabs on foodie hunter via this blog, twitter, flickr, etc. they were also not aware that this blog is where i write whatever i feel like. if folks are usually interested in food porn, i usually try to point them in the direction of the flickr page. yet, it is much easier to deal with a few folks here or there .....rather than hundreds at once....wanting to have a say...or wanting to try to work you in some way or another.

admittedly, one of the reasons why i have a social media presence is because the "foodie hunter" personae is also my lab. i observe how connections, networks, information travels via the various networks. not only is this an outlet for my passions for cooking, food, photography, and is also an way for me to delve more into understanding how people connect and communicate. so from a metrics and analytics perspective, it was interesting to see how recommendations translate into increased connections.

this is the type of first hand experience in a controlled "lab" is very useful for work.

i'm pretty practical in many ways and starting this blog and delving into social media has enabled me to learn and grow in many ways....both personally and professionally.

it was a bit jarring to receive attention from a group of people that had no historical knowledge of what "foodie hunter" is and as a result, brought their own expectations...and in some cases....tried to foist their own expectations upon me, my writing, and what i do here.

so, i pretty much implemented a tactic that is the antithesis of what folks expect to "growing your brand"....if foodie hunter can be considered a brand. i wrote a series of pissy postings and told people to fuck off. you don't do that sort of behavior when you are trying to drive up traffic or expand one's brand. this is basic B-school stuff....i suppose....if i was inclined to attend B-school....and if i was also inclined to "grow the foodie hunter brand". i have inclinations toward neither avenue.

i know that i can be such a stubborn shit. it is why i haven't been posting here. in a way, i've been waiting them out. waiting for them to go away....or just stick to the pics i post on google plus or stick to the pics i post on flickr. i do think it is possible to have different avenues of communication and expression that may appeal to different audiences.

in terms of the blog or what i do with "foodie hunter", i want to do it my way or not at all.

at work, i have to do so much for other people. i have to think for other people. i have to make their lives doesn't matter if i believe in them, trust them, or even like them. my job is my job. i pimp out my brain. i have a responsibility to my team and my work ethic is such that i will always do a good job.

foodie hunter is suppose to be my space. my teeny tiny room of my own. a place where i could share what i love and believe when i suddenly and unexpectedly received comments, emails, etc. etc. from people who seemed to believe that they were entitled to what i write, post, take pictures of....or in a sense...feel entitled to me....i got upset.

hence the pissy postings with me stomping my foot and going grrrrr at various faceless nameless people whose sense of entitlement was rather mind boggling.

also, for better or worse, when i think something isn't going in a good direction for me....i cut what i need to and then i walk away. in an overly dramatic way, it is a bit like the wolf that decides to gnaw off their paw that is caught in the trap. at the end of the day, it is a survival tactic. so yeah, while the "foodie hunter" has been good learning experience for me, become a creative outlet, and have enjoyed it....i did seriously consider walking away from it.

i'm usually pretty good at thinking about the bigger picture.

i wanted to see if i could wait them many cases ignore them.....and then come back to it.

if i felt like it.

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