Wednesday, June 20, 2012

cherish





you know how i've gotten so much shit for talking about who i care about, who i am excited about, who i want to celebrate, who i want to acknowledge as making strides toward their dreams in this blog instead of breaking people down?

you know how i keep harping about making sure that those that i love know that i love them...and how i'd rather stand there.....and be a silly fool or be self conscious or be uncomfortably socially awkward and ensure that they know...then not know?

well this is why i don't care how much shit i get and this is why when i care about you.....you know it.

today, i found out that one of my godfather's best friends was walking home with his partner in the castro and  he died. he died as they were walking home. no warning. he just passed on. it wasn't one life that ended in that moment. it was two.

how would you feel in that situation?

how would you feel when your love....your lover...your friend....the person that you've decided to spend the rest of your life with....the person that you've been with in sickness, in health, in bickering, in laughter, in rage,  in happiness, in disappointment, and in love with....for decades.....is taken in an unexpected everyday moment.

or

how would you feel when you are walking along the sidewalk with your love....just an everyday moment...a moment that you've done countless times throughout the decades....and then suddenly and you feel something shift within your body...you are no longer in control....and you know it is your turn.

if in some magical world ....time could stop and you were allowed to say something to each other....what would you say? what would you be concerned about?

when the godfather told me what happened, i was in a state of shock and incredibly saddened. yes, i know them. i've laughed with them. i've gone to them for advice. i've celebrated holidays with them. they are part of an extended family.

yet, one is gone. the other is broken.

now i sit here feeling angry. angry at other people that waste time.

life is too short to spend energy on the haters, trolls, or those who seek to deliberately harm. life brings on the drama, tragedy, and heartbreak. it doesn't ask "is now a good time?"  because it is never a good time...and it doesn't care.


during my time here, i choose to expend my energy acknowledging, celebrating, supporting those i see making a difference, those i see pursuing their dreams, and those i care for. because when it is my turn, i don't want to rely upon living in a magical realm where time stops so i can say all of the things i meant to say but never got around to saying.....because there was pride, because there was fear, because there was anger. 


don't be reckless with people you care for. 


cherish them.

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